I walk with suave. I walk with swag. The fools wouldn't understand. To walk with true power is to walk with both legs, and use both feet. Bipedal locomotion. So many today go with the old style of quadrupedal locomotion, some even going so far as to use their head as a limb to assist in their movement. This is simply absurd, we've evolved past the need for quadrupedal and other types of locomotion millions of years ago. Maybe once you get some class, you'll realize how a real civilized human walks. Maybe you'll have to take some lessons, but that's fine, we all have to start somewhere; you just need to realize bipidal locomotion is simply the superior form of movement in today's modern age. I know, I know, I sound absurd, perhaps even pretencious, but you can ask scientific experts all over the world that what I'm saying is true. In the future, who knows, we may not even need legs anymore, and you won't want to be behind when that happens.

You want to be ahead of the curve when it comes to walking. The next huge revolution could come any day, and you're still stick in 100,000,000 BCE. It's time to grow up, time to get your big boy legs and move on, literally.

Oh, your Myerrs briggs or whatever is INTJ? Fuck you. Fuck you a hundred times. I wish I could destroy you. I wish I could stab you and destroy you and rip your heart out of your chest. You're a pathetic freak! You're GROSS AND pathetic!

Oh my god I think im going to vomit. oh my god you smell like shit, why do you smell like shit? oh its because INTJs tend to "neglect their physical appearance"? no I think its actually because youre a gross DEGENERATE relying on an online test to excuse themselves for smelling like donky doodoo. You fucking cretin. God should smite you. Maybe he already has, seeing how much you smell like SHIT. you smite me with your shit smell. INTJ fucking bitch. I hate you. I really do.

I am directly targeting you if. You are a bitch. smelly little bitch INTJ. fuck you. You should be slaughtered just for openly identifying yourself as an MBTI type, let alone INTJ. I can't fucking believe you'd do this. Where did you parents go wrong? Were you undersocialized as a child, is that what happened? Is something wrong with your parents? Please get some help. Please, please, please for my own sanity, get some fucking help. You're ruining everyone around you with your stench of feces.

I invented the internet. me and me alone. I'm tired of people taking credit for my brilliant inventions. You may be wondering, if you know my age, "Well, how could you have invented the internet if you're [age]? You werent born in time to do that" Well guess what, you fucking idiot. Linear time does not limit me.

Yeah, that's right ,you heard me. Maybe you're thinking "oh, he's just making a joke hahaha its a comedy funny joke lol" but no, no no NO. NO. I HAVE POWERS YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND. I am beyond your understanding, fuckface. Look at this. Im going to retrotemporally turn you into a loser. Boom. Done. You're a fucking loser and you alwas have been. How does that feel? How does it feel to be at the mercy of a god such as myself? Not good, I bet.

Anyway, I invented the internet in the past so I could become rich and famous and its working so far, so can you really deny it?? You should be paying me every time you even think of the internet because its MY concept you're thinking about. You troglodyte, you couldnt even invent rocks. OH, that reminds me, guess who invented rocks? Your truly. Yeah, the stone age? That was my creation. Bow down before me.

Stop trying to be a cute bitch. YOu're not cute. You're an ugly 20+ y/o dude. Admit you're ugly. Just admit you're an ugly sack of rotting meat and get on with life, that's what I did. If you keep on your cute path you're going to kill yourself by 30 and not even in a cool way with swag.

You're gonna die in a pathetic whimper, im going to die violently. I'm going to die violently in a firefight, that's whats going to happen to me. I bet you wouldnt even have the guts to die with style, you wouldn't have the guts to down 5 bottles of cough syrup and jump in the local river (with a backflip). You'd shoot yourself like a bitch, and you wouldnt even do it with a shotgun either to make a point.

The only reasonable way to shoot yourself is with a high spread shotgun right to the dome, in the mouth. Spread that shit everywhere. Buy a hotel room and spread your blood and brain everywhere so they have to clean it up. Do it in a 5 star hotel, even, save up 200k just to live a day in one of those expensive-ass hotels and blast your fucking brains all over the room after fuckign hookers and doing blow. Why wouldnt you do something like that ? why wouldnt you go out with style? Because you're a bitch. You always have been.

I am the new era of internet comedian. I am new, I'm hip, and I have swag. More swag than anyone else in this world. I can write comedic prose at the speed no man is capable of comprehending. My mind whizzes at a million miles and hour endlessly calculating the most funniest things ever. It's just too easy for me, you wish you had my gift. You wish you had my gift of comedy genius, I could sell out any venue of any croud and bust every single gut in the room with laughter. It's almost a crime how funny I am.

Just look at me. You've got a huge grin on your face just thinking about how hilarious I am. Why is that? How could that be? It's because I'm a fucking genius that is controlling your mind through mere words. I'm a mystic comedian. I make magical comedy. That's why I do.

I DONT WANT TO FUCKING READ YOUR SHITTY PHILOSOPHER'S BOOKS. NOBODY should give a shit about these stupid fucking books. Read a few paragraphs of summaries on them at the most, maybe watch a few youtube videos. Do you really think you actually know more than you did from reading entire books of fucking philosophy than you would from reading a few wikipedia pages and watching a few videos? Really, really think about it. Think hard about it for a few minutes, in how you use your knowledge, what you say, and your thought patterns...

The answer is fucking no, you don;t know more and if you think you do you're literally a delusional psychotic freak that needs to be locked up in a cage before they rot their bodies to death reading some dead old 500 year old rotting fuck's book. And not even psychotic in a cool way, you're just cringe. Maybe if you actually were able to fucking think for yourself you wouldnt be addicted to reading these books for hours on end, but you fucking can't. You just pipe shit in from other people because your mind is a worthless void waiting for be filled by other people's fecal thoughts.

99% of philosophy books is some asshole rambling on about the same shit and saying it in different ways over and over again because both they and you are too stupid to get it from one explanation, and extrapolate from there. You're a pathetic brainless freak, you know that? Ever wonder why nobody thinks you have anything interesting to say despite reading all these books? It's because you haven't actually learned a thing from them. Now you're seeing the big picture aren't you? You fucking menace.